I finally figured out what I want to do in life. Get away from America as SOON and as QUICKLY as possible. My family is becoming unbearable and entering a new cultural atmosphere would do me some good. All I have ever known is America. Competition, debt, etc. You know what I have had enough. I am going to study abroad. I am going to pursue my true dream of being an author and I am going to be supremely happy. I was going to break the news to my family tonight until my Step-father made me supremely irritated. I am not going to go into details it was just ridiculous. Parents these days. As I said, I need to get away from my family and from my "familiar atmosphere" for a GOOD LONG TIME. Studying abroad is exactly what I need right now. 6 months away from everything and thrown into a new world of problems and a new found independence is what I truly need to experience at my age. I am not going to learn how to handle myself out in the real world if I am continuously sheltered in my own house and imprisoned in my own room.
They want me off the internet? Well, they got it. I am going to leave this country and say "TATA AMERICA". Who knows if I like the country I am staying at I might volunteer to be there for a full year and not return to America until then. As I said, you don't become an adult by sitting in your home and giggling at YouTube videos all day. You become an adult by experiencing things outside your comfort zone and realize that this is how life is suppose to be.
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Monday, September 19, 2011
The One
For the first time in my life, I watched a 5 minute Horoscope show on OnDemand. It was the most hilarious 5 minutes of my life! She discussed how the moon was perfect for this one day and how it opened my door to "finding true love" and even "BUSINESS ARRANGEMENTS". She told me how Saturn was the reason I am poor right now and that it wouldn't bug me next year. I was laughing so hard. I felt tears streaming down my cheek. It was too much to handle.
Skitty response: So let me get this straight...the reason I am not a millionaire right now is because of a planet? Once this planet goes away I will be making money? What happens if I'm unemployed and single? Does that mean you'll randomly have a handsome man on my doorstep ready to marry me?
It was just too much to bear. Too much indeed.
Skitty response: So let me get this straight...the reason I am not a millionaire right now is because of a planet? Once this planet goes away I will be making money? What happens if I'm unemployed and single? Does that mean you'll randomly have a handsome man on my doorstep ready to marry me?
It was just too much to bear. Too much indeed.
Multi-tasker
I think I have took on too much of a load, but then again I prefer it this way. If I try a variety of things, I'll figure out what I like and not like about myself and open up new experiences to myself! Right now I'm trying to write stories, do my college work, post up let's plays, video game reviews, music covers and now my friend asked me if I could do Fanfiction reviews too. Dear lord....maybe this is a bit too much, but this is a lot of fun. I would rather be a busy body and have fun than do nothing at all!
Hopefully this will all turn out for the best!
Hopefully this will all turn out for the best!
Saturday, September 17, 2011
Skitty vs Copyright Law
"It was discovered third party content was in your video."
Skitty's response: ....What?
"You don't have to do anything! There maybe ads in your videos :P and the owner might force you to take it down but...no biggie!!!"
Skitty's response: I CAN'T EVEN DO COVER SONGS WITHOUT BEING COPYRIGHTED?!
America has lost it. A few years ago I could put a video about anything and not have been suspended for it. Now, YouTube has changed. The world has changed. You know who's the blame? Idiots. Copiers. People who literally rip videos off of YouTube and claim that they own it! Why people?! Yet...my friend had her video stolen by some chick off YouTube and NOT ONCE did they force her to take it down. This is what I have to say to YouTube. Either get your policy fixed and don't ruin it for every common-day user or don't bother to enforce it period. As much as I love YouTube, it really has changed. Now you can't do a wacky little song without being copyrighted. Now you can't post up anime music videos without the clips being examined and the music being taken away. It is a sad world. Where even the smallest signs of creativity is being ignored and outlawed, because someone "said" something to it first.
The same thing with Plagiarism. How many people have wrote, typed, and even said the same sentences that I did today? How many people have said the word "the", "and", and even "if"? Too many to count. So why should a single sentence be owned by someone? That breaks the freedom of speech. Speech CANNOT be owned, because it is FREE. Same goes with written words. The first person who ever wrote/said the word "The" never claimed it as their own so why should pieces of written work compiled upon rules upon rules of punctuation and grammar be owned at all? The people who originally made these rules and sentences did not force us to quote them every time we put in a comma. The people who made these words never required us to quote them when we type in their word in every sentence! So how should we uphold plagiarism when technically everything we typed it owned by SOMEONE and yet they don't get credit for it, yet when someone writes a paper about it they HAVE to be quoted or else you get kicked out of College or a University.
The world doesn't make sense anymore. We can own sentences now. We can own simple pieces of artwork. We can even own land. But in truth, we don't own these things at all. Do you think nature is going to stop throwing in tornadoes just because you own a house? No, it won't. The world should realize that.
Skitty's response: ....What?
"You don't have to do anything! There maybe ads in your videos :P and the owner might force you to take it down but...no biggie!!!"
Skitty's response: I CAN'T EVEN DO COVER SONGS WITHOUT BEING COPYRIGHTED?!
America has lost it. A few years ago I could put a video about anything and not have been suspended for it. Now, YouTube has changed. The world has changed. You know who's the blame? Idiots. Copiers. People who literally rip videos off of YouTube and claim that they own it! Why people?! Yet...my friend had her video stolen by some chick off YouTube and NOT ONCE did they force her to take it down. This is what I have to say to YouTube. Either get your policy fixed and don't ruin it for every common-day user or don't bother to enforce it period. As much as I love YouTube, it really has changed. Now you can't do a wacky little song without being copyrighted. Now you can't post up anime music videos without the clips being examined and the music being taken away. It is a sad world. Where even the smallest signs of creativity is being ignored and outlawed, because someone "said" something to it first.
The same thing with Plagiarism. How many people have wrote, typed, and even said the same sentences that I did today? How many people have said the word "the", "and", and even "if"? Too many to count. So why should a single sentence be owned by someone? That breaks the freedom of speech. Speech CANNOT be owned, because it is FREE. Same goes with written words. The first person who ever wrote/said the word "The" never claimed it as their own so why should pieces of written work compiled upon rules upon rules of punctuation and grammar be owned at all? The people who originally made these rules and sentences did not force us to quote them every time we put in a comma. The people who made these words never required us to quote them when we type in their word in every sentence! So how should we uphold plagiarism when technically everything we typed it owned by SOMEONE and yet they don't get credit for it, yet when someone writes a paper about it they HAVE to be quoted or else you get kicked out of College or a University.
The world doesn't make sense anymore. We can own sentences now. We can own simple pieces of artwork. We can even own land. But in truth, we don't own these things at all. Do you think nature is going to stop throwing in tornadoes just because you own a house? No, it won't. The world should realize that.
Friday, September 16, 2011
Skitty vs Textbook
I have been through my fair share of textbooks in my life and I have to say that I have met my match. I didn't think it was possible, but I have found the most horrible textbook in America. What's worse is that I have to rely on it to pass my class. Usually when I read a textbook I am by far not excited to read it, but at least most of them are understandable and I can get through it quickly without having to stop every few seconds to feel my eyebrow twitch at every sentence.
This textbook had the exterior of Disneyland and the interior of a prison cell. The colorful cover page was a huge misleading factor about the inside of this book. The book was plain. There were hardly any charts or graphs to explain the topics better (horrible if you are a visual learner like me). The insides were strictly black, white, and gray in coloring and there were rows upon rows of text. Of course, I am used to that. That did not bug me. What bugged me was the way they presented the information in the textbook. The way they presented the information was absolutely horrible. They tried to cram in so much information into one sentence that I couldn't help but feel my eyebrow twitch during every page. It was so horrible that I couldn't even make it past the middle of the chapter. I HAD to stop. It was too much to try to interpret and make sense of EVERY single sentence in that chapter. At times, I would sit there and stare at the ceiling and wonder if this was a punishment from the divines of Heaven or any other religion hell out there.
Books are meant to help you understand information. They are not meant to make the information feel so complex that you need a master's degree to make sense of it all. It wasn't that I was reading a dictionary throughout 1/3 of a single chapter, but they were just trying to cram in too much stuff into one single sentence.
Example:
When a misbehavior (a negative behavior that is not wanted) is becoming too much (means that it's too much for the teacher to handle), then the teacher should use targeted behaviors (a specific behavior)....etc.
(The information above was what I made up in order to give people an idea of how ridiculous this textbook is.)
Yes, they did that with every sentence. They kept placing parenthesis in EVERY sentence adding in more crap to explain one single word. What's worse is that the explanations for that ONE single word was even more complex than if you just tried to google it on the internet. What makes this whole situation worse is that my college professor is one of those types that HEAVILY relies on this piece of trash they call a textbook. So eventually I am going to have to sit one day and fight with it again. Hopefully the later chapters won't make me want to throw this textbook half-way across the world. May God, or whoever, save me from this piece of crap!!!
This textbook had the exterior of Disneyland and the interior of a prison cell. The colorful cover page was a huge misleading factor about the inside of this book. The book was plain. There were hardly any charts or graphs to explain the topics better (horrible if you are a visual learner like me). The insides were strictly black, white, and gray in coloring and there were rows upon rows of text. Of course, I am used to that. That did not bug me. What bugged me was the way they presented the information in the textbook. The way they presented the information was absolutely horrible. They tried to cram in so much information into one sentence that I couldn't help but feel my eyebrow twitch during every page. It was so horrible that I couldn't even make it past the middle of the chapter. I HAD to stop. It was too much to try to interpret and make sense of EVERY single sentence in that chapter. At times, I would sit there and stare at the ceiling and wonder if this was a punishment from the divines of Heaven or any other religion hell out there.
Books are meant to help you understand information. They are not meant to make the information feel so complex that you need a master's degree to make sense of it all. It wasn't that I was reading a dictionary throughout 1/3 of a single chapter, but they were just trying to cram in too much stuff into one single sentence.
Example:
When a misbehavior (a negative behavior that is not wanted) is becoming too much (means that it's too much for the teacher to handle), then the teacher should use targeted behaviors (a specific behavior)....etc.
(The information above was what I made up in order to give people an idea of how ridiculous this textbook is.)
Yes, they did that with every sentence. They kept placing parenthesis in EVERY sentence adding in more crap to explain one single word. What's worse is that the explanations for that ONE single word was even more complex than if you just tried to google it on the internet. What makes this whole situation worse is that my college professor is one of those types that HEAVILY relies on this piece of trash they call a textbook. So eventually I am going to have to sit one day and fight with it again. Hopefully the later chapters won't make me want to throw this textbook half-way across the world. May God, or whoever, save me from this piece of crap!!!
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Parents Know Best
I woke up this morning and my mom greeted me with, "Why do you have acne on your face?".
I sat down doing my homework on the laptop today and my Asian mother walks in with another negative comment about me, "You've been on the computer all day! THAT'S ALL YOU ARE GOOD FOR!"
You know what. Parent's DON'T know best! Where was she when I was abandoned all alone in Kentucky? She was in Las Vegas having Starbucks with her friends. Where was she when I cried out for her to help me? She was busy finding a new boyfriend. I can sit here and watch television shows that explain that family is important and that parents are mean, because they care and know what's best for you. My mother doesn't know best. I know what is best for me. Sitting here feeling caged up in my own house isn't allowing me to experience things about the world. Unfortunately, the computer is my only freedom in this house.
Lately, I've been trying to take over my own life. She keeps restricting my movements and now she's getting me on the computer, because she knows the computer is all I have left that she cannot control. You know what. She isn't allowed to control me one bit. She can go on a rant about how much I am not the perfect child for her and you know what I don't care anymore. My parents DON'T know best. I do! Right now my only ally is myself.
I sat down doing my homework on the laptop today and my Asian mother walks in with another negative comment about me, "You've been on the computer all day! THAT'S ALL YOU ARE GOOD FOR!"
You know what. Parent's DON'T know best! Where was she when I was abandoned all alone in Kentucky? She was in Las Vegas having Starbucks with her friends. Where was she when I cried out for her to help me? She was busy finding a new boyfriend. I can sit here and watch television shows that explain that family is important and that parents are mean, because they care and know what's best for you. My mother doesn't know best. I know what is best for me. Sitting here feeling caged up in my own house isn't allowing me to experience things about the world. Unfortunately, the computer is my only freedom in this house.
Lately, I've been trying to take over my own life. She keeps restricting my movements and now she's getting me on the computer, because she knows the computer is all I have left that she cannot control. You know what. She isn't allowed to control me one bit. She can go on a rant about how much I am not the perfect child for her and you know what I don't care anymore. My parents DON'T know best. I do! Right now my only ally is myself.
Truth and Lies
Sometimes I wonder why I even bother trying. No matter what I do I somehow end up screwing it up along the line. For example, I have no idea why I am even bothering to write this post. It's not like some blogger is going to seriously sit down and read this. But I am writing and living in this. I used to always place the blame on me. I was always the villain. Then eventually as I grew up little by little I started to realize that some things weren't my fault.
I came home this morning from a painful afternoon at the Dentist's office to find my friends still mad at me. One was disappointed in me, because I told the truth that I didn't want to watch his video. My other friend was mad at me, because I told the truth that I thought what he was doing was wrong and I was worried about him. I told the truth. Something that they don't realize is very hard for me to do. After years of lying about myself and the world, I realized I hated lying and that I wanted to change. The only problem that came with change was fear. The fear of what people would do if I started telling the truth. The fear that they would abandon me once I started telling them what I really felt. These two friends of mine brought back old memories of why I started becoming a compulsive liar. I was afraid and the people around me were also reinforcing that fear. I can recollect all my thoughts about the times I was always punished, because I spoke my mind and spoke the truth.
In the end, I never grew up. I actually grew down, if that's even possible. The little girl that I was...was braver than the "grown up" I am now. Although I don't remember much of who that little girl was, I do remember that she tried not to allow others to repress her. I wonder what happened to that girl and how badly my family shattered that hope in me. I wonder how much it took for my family to open up my heart and replace the small ounces of hope I had within me with fear. I was and still am afraid. I don't want to revert back to who I once was, but I can't help but cling to it. Cling back to those lies that protect me and these stupid relationships that can't accept me for who I want to be and who I am. I am tired and scared. What's worse is that I think nobody cares except me.
I came home this morning from a painful afternoon at the Dentist's office to find my friends still mad at me. One was disappointed in me, because I told the truth that I didn't want to watch his video. My other friend was mad at me, because I told the truth that I thought what he was doing was wrong and I was worried about him. I told the truth. Something that they don't realize is very hard for me to do. After years of lying about myself and the world, I realized I hated lying and that I wanted to change. The only problem that came with change was fear. The fear of what people would do if I started telling the truth. The fear that they would abandon me once I started telling them what I really felt. These two friends of mine brought back old memories of why I started becoming a compulsive liar. I was afraid and the people around me were also reinforcing that fear. I can recollect all my thoughts about the times I was always punished, because I spoke my mind and spoke the truth.
In the end, I never grew up. I actually grew down, if that's even possible. The little girl that I was...was braver than the "grown up" I am now. Although I don't remember much of who that little girl was, I do remember that she tried not to allow others to repress her. I wonder what happened to that girl and how badly my family shattered that hope in me. I wonder how much it took for my family to open up my heart and replace the small ounces of hope I had within me with fear. I was and still am afraid. I don't want to revert back to who I once was, but I can't help but cling to it. Cling back to those lies that protect me and these stupid relationships that can't accept me for who I want to be and who I am. I am tired and scared. What's worse is that I think nobody cares except me.
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Am I even alive?
Have you ever felt the days go by and you wonder if life is suppose to happen like this? You wake up in the morning, go online, search for some entertainment, do your homework, and do the same damn thing the next day. Can't there be anything different? Do you wish for anything different? In truth, I don't even know.
Have you ever done something wrong? Even if it's a small tidbit. The guilt coils up inside you and clutches onto your heart. The weight is so much to bear that sometimes you wish to scream out and say "Let it go! You have to let it go! I can't breath! Please!" Well, that was how I felt yesterday and right this very second.What did I do wrong? Many things. I am a person who wishes she could commit to anything, yet doesn't do the necessary things to get it started. I hardly finish anything I start (unless I feel my life is on the line like my College work, etc.). Does that simply mean I'm a nutcase who can't do anything right? I agree so. I am the type of person who screws up her own life by herself and instead of trying anything to do something about it I merely sit back, watch, and enjoy the show. Why? Because I'm an idiot.
So am I even alive? When I grow a brain someday, maybe I might consider myself alive, but right now I am not alive. I am not awake. I am simply hibernating and waiting for spring to come along so I can wake up and improve my life instead of waste it. Hopefully, spring will come early.
Have you ever done something wrong? Even if it's a small tidbit. The guilt coils up inside you and clutches onto your heart. The weight is so much to bear that sometimes you wish to scream out and say "Let it go! You have to let it go! I can't breath! Please!" Well, that was how I felt yesterday and right this very second.What did I do wrong? Many things. I am a person who wishes she could commit to anything, yet doesn't do the necessary things to get it started. I hardly finish anything I start (unless I feel my life is on the line like my College work, etc.). Does that simply mean I'm a nutcase who can't do anything right? I agree so. I am the type of person who screws up her own life by herself and instead of trying anything to do something about it I merely sit back, watch, and enjoy the show. Why? Because I'm an idiot.
So am I even alive? When I grow a brain someday, maybe I might consider myself alive, but right now I am not alive. I am not awake. I am simply hibernating and waiting for spring to come along so I can wake up and improve my life instead of waste it. Hopefully, spring will come early.
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